our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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