we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
