I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
