Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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