i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
