I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
