I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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