How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
