I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
