Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dick very happy bro
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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