I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am midnight drunk by noon
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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