His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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