My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
