she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
