Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
