the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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