I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
