She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
