You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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