Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
