doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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