wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
