did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
