she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
