Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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