Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
