I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
