His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
