Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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