Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
