Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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