Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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