but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
