I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
