I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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