weddingsv make me drug and hornr
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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