Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
