you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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