I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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