Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
