the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
