Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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