i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You don't make any sense
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