Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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