im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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