That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
