even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
