wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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