dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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