please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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