I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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