he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
